^{Photo by Mr. Daniel, flickr}

Eventiquette: Event Dress Code

We live in a time where we receive invitations to attend all kinds of events throughout the year, which is great, until we realize that we need to decipher the dress code for the gathering and somehow figure out what we should wear. Most people just want to fit in with the other guests and not be under – or over- dressed. This can lead to a fair amount of despair, especially when you don’t quite know what the dress code “White Tie” requires.

If you are attending an event in the afternoon men should wear business suits, dark in winter and light in summer, and women should wear a suit or a knee-length dress with very little make-up and glam. Always take note of the location of the event and dress appropriately.

Here is a simple breakdown of the different dress codes out there:

Black Tie (aka Formal): This calls for formal attire. Men wear tuxedos; women wear either a cocktail dress or a dressy evening outfit.

White Tie (aka Ultra-formal):  This requires men to wear full dress, with white tie, vest, and shirt. Women wear long ball gowns.

Black Tie Optional: This allows men the option of wearing a tuxedo or a dark suit and tie. Women can wear a cocktail dress or a dressy evening outfit.

Creative Black Tie: This enables you to incorporate your style and taste into traditional formal wear. Men could wear a tux with a black shirt and no tie, and women could wear long or short dresses or an evening outfit. – Have fun with this one!

Semi-Formal (aka After 5): This means that tuxes and long dresses are not necessary. Men can wear a suit and Women a cocktail dress.

Cocktail Attire: This calls for a dark suit for the men and a short, elegant dress for the women.

Informal: On occasion mistaken for “Casual” – but is actually the same as “Semi-Formal”.

Casual: This means that anything goes.

Dressy Casual: This is the dressed up version of “Casual” – normally no jeans, shorts and t-shirts, but no tux and tie either.

Written by Kim ten Krooden, Event Coordinator, EVENTS BY EMMA

Eventiquette: Signature Cocktails

Having a signature cocktail is a great way to tie your theme into every aspect of your event. It is a great point of conversation for your guests who might not know each other, and who doesn’t like to try a new cocktail?

When choosing your signature drink there are some things that you need to be mindful of. If your budget is tighter than you would like, stay away from expensive cocktails that require pricey ingredients and wherever possible use the less expensive brand – no one will even realize that you are not using Absolut vodka in your drink creation.

Consider your guests tastes and styles, you will never be able to please everyone, but you need something that will appeal to the crowd. Having said that it is after-all your signature drink so be sure to choose something that reflects you and your style. If your event has a colour theme you will need to stick to it when choosing your signature cocktail – you want to go for continuity.

Go ahead and create a fabulous name for your cocktail. Even if you are using a Tequila Sunrise as your cocktail, changing the name adds just one more personal touch to your event. Your cocktails can be served in a wide variety of glasses, so choose according to the style of the event or gathering that you are holding.

When holding your event at a venue where the bar staff will be provided to serve your drinks, it is a good idea to determine how they will be preparing, mixing, presenting and serving your cocktail to your guests – you do not want them pre-mixing a large batch of the drink and then serving it out bucket on the floor. Presentation is Key!

Now for the fun part, don’t forget to taste test your cocktail before your event to make sure that it tastes as good as it looks and sounds.

_{Written by Kim ten Krooden, Event Coordinator, EVENTS BY EMMA}

Gift Registries

Registering for gifts can be a lot of fun and very helpful to your guests, but many people don’t realise that there are etiquette guidelines that need to be followed to ensure that no one is offended.

Both the Bride & the Groom should be involved in selecting what gifts should be included on the registry – this makes sense as both will be using the gifts. When adding gifts to your wish list make sure to consider your guests and their budgets. Include items with a wide variety of price ranges so as to give everyone an opportunity to buy you something that you will love. Deciding how many gifts to put on your registry can be a daunting task; experts recommend that each invited couple should be able to choose between 2 to 3 selections in their chosen price range.

It is a good idea to create your registry approximately 6 months in advance of the Wedding. Some of your guests would like to get your gift as soon as they receive the invitation and others will wait until the week of the wedding or even after the wedding to purchase your gift. No matter when you receive the gifts you should wait until after the wedding to open them – some believe that it is bad luck to open wedding gifts before the wedding. It is also important to know that you are not obligated to open the gifts in front of anyone.

Telling your guests about your registry is the toughest part. The only acceptable way to inform people of your registry details is by word of mouth. You need to count on your family and bridal party to spread the word for you. It is extremely rude to ask for gifts or cash, you are inviting your family and friends to celebrate with you and their attendance is more important than receiving a gift from them. Never include registry or gift wish list information on your wedding invitation, many store registries provide little cards to include in the envelopes – this is poor etiquette. You can however give these cards to your family and bridal party to pass on to your guests as they ask for gift information.

Written by Kim ten Krooden, Event Coordinator, EVENTS BY EMMA

Banquet Dinner Manners

With the increase in popularity of the fast food industry, many people are losing their dining etiquette. Simple table manners are important for everyone to know and practice. Many people are required to attend dinner parties, conventions and special events where proper dining etiquette is a must. Our actions at the table during dinner are crucial to how others perceive us.

The following are some guidelines to proper dining etiquette:

• Before being seated for a formal meal, gentlemen should stand behind their chairs until the women are seated.

• Once seated, you are to place your napkin in your lap.

• The courses will be served from your left and removed from your right-hand side.

• Always wait until everyone at your table has been served their course before you begin eating – if the host is seated with you, you should refrain from eating until he/she has begun.

• If your meal has been delayed tell the others at your table to begin eating.

• If the meal is being served “family style” you must pass the food to the person on your right, so that they may help themselves. Always consider how much food is on the serving dish and how many people will need to share it.

• As the different courses are served, use your utensils starting from the outside moving in towards the main plate. Dessert utensils will either be above the main plate or served with dessert.

• Instead of sawing your bread in half like a hamburger bun, you should rather use your fingers to break your bread and then butter one piece at a time.

• If the salad has big leaves use a knife to cut it.

• When eating soup, dip your soup spoon away from you into the soup and then scoop up to your mouth. Make sure to eat the soup soundlessly from the side of the spoon.

• If you are struggling to get food onto your fork you can use a little piece of bread or your knife to help. Never use your fingers or thumb.

• You may rest your forearms on the table, but never your elbows.

• Don’t wave your knife and fork around in the air while talking to people.

• It is very rude to talk on your cellphone or "text" at the table. If you need to take an urgent call you can apologize and excuse yourself from the table.

• If leaving the table briefly leave your napkin on your chair. When you leave the table at the end of the meal, loosely place the used napkin on the table to the left of your plate.

• At the end of your meal, place all used utensils together onto your plate, on the right side, pointed up, so the waiters know that they can remove your plate. Do not place dirty utensils on the table.

Written by Kim ten Krooden, Event Coordinator, EVENTS BY EMMA

^{Photo by Sugarflower Design, Flickr}

Using an RSVP Card

A response card, included with your invitation, is a great way to simplify the process of keeping track of who has replied. Always send out a card that requires a response for either acceptance or declining of the invitation, guests should reply whether they will be attending the event or not. RSVPs should be sent out at least a month before the event and they need to specify all the details of the event, who is invited, a deadline and method for accepting or declining.

There is no one correct way of wording your response card, but it is important to keep the style of the card aligned with that of the event. You could make it easy for your guests to reply by pre-addressing a return envelope. It is becoming more commonplace to use email as the primary response method, just be sure to include a secondary method for those that are not as computer savvy.

What is the most appropriate way to respond to an RSVP? The host will generally indicate on the invitation how and by when you need to RSVP. They have chosen a particular method of response for a reason and you need to be respectful of that. The most common forms of RSVP are by phone, email, postcard or traditional response card. No matter how the host prefers for you to RSVP you should respond as soon as you can. Remember that the hosts are waiting to hear from you to finalize their event details and they need your acceptance or regret in a timely manner.

Do not RSVP and then not show up. Unexpected things do happen that might prevent you from attending, and most hosts will understand your absence. If you realize that you will no longer be able to attend you must make sure to let the hosts know as soon as possible to give them time to make adjustments to their event. A nice note or phone call to apologize is always appreciated.

Written by Kim ten Krooden, Event Coordinator, EVENTS BY EMMA

^{(Cool Book Cover….it has the same E font as in my logo)}

Over the past few weeks I have been meeting with many of my new clients and have begun the planning process for variety of ‘09 events. Every year at this time, some of the first questions asked are regarding etiquette and budget……………usually the two go hand-in-hand.

Here are just a few of the common Wedding related questions I get asked.

Who pays for what?

A wedding is supposed to be a celebration of your love and new life together, and is not meant to be a financial strain on you and your family. Traditionally, the bride and her family pay for most of the wedding costs. However, relationships and roles in marriage have changed considerably and as a result, having the financial burden on the bride’s family is no longer standard in today’s world. All three parties including the bride, groom and parents should talk about the wedding plan ahead of time so that everyone’s concerns and willingness to contribute can be taken into consideration.

The Cash Bar Issue?

Yes, weddings are expensive. Yes, couples should be on the lookout for budget saving tips. However, hosting a cash bar at your reception is an etiquette buster! Think about it …. you would never ask anyone to pay for a drink in your own home. People at your reception are still your guests, even if the event is not held in your house. That said, if a full bar is not within your budget, consider these alternatives:

1. Host a soft bar, in which guests can order champagne, beer and wine.

2. Host a consumption bar, in which the bar is open till a certain time or until a certain amount of drinks are served.

3. Host a non-alcohol based bar (mocktails) with neat signature drinks.

4. Cut down the size of your guest list – this is the only significant way to reduce costs in the first place.

Is it acceptable to allow my bridal attendants to select their own dresses?

While it is traditional to have the bride’s attendants in the same attire, today we are seeing more brides giving their attendants independence to select a style that is flattering to their figure and personality within a specific hue. Also, nice dresses these days a few hundred dollars plus alterations, why not let your attendants get something “that they feel they will wear again!”.

What do I do if I do not want children at my wedding?

It’s not appropriate to make sweeping statements on your invitations. Instead make sure your invitations are addressed explicitly with only the names of the guests invited. As back-up, you should also pre-arrange for a children’s hospitality suite with babysitting service, activities and a fun meal like pizza at the wedding venue.

How can I communicate to my guests that I would prefer them to donate to my favorite charity in lieu of a gift?

While the tradition of gift giving is a social norm, it is completely optional for your guests. If you want your guests to donate to a charity or the cause of your choice in lieu of a gift, you can include this on your personal wedding website or through word of mouth by family and friends

What do I do if the bride and groom have different cultures/religions?

In interfaith marriages, the cultural and religious traditions from both the bride and groom are often incorporated into the ceremony. This sometimes leads to multi-day affairs. This gesture symbolizes the new unity of faith between the couple while paying tribute to both heritages.

Is Champagne the only beverage used for toasts?

While champagne is the traditional beverage used in toasts, today’s fashion forward brides are customizing the beverage to accommodate their favorite libation, seasonal drink or lifestyle/cultural family heritage.

What do you with your flowers after the wedding?

Some suggestions are to offer them to your guests to take home, reuse them for a post wedding brunch the following day or donate them to a hospital, charity or local foundation.

How long do I have to send out my thank you cards?

Ideally, you would send thank you notes throughout the pre-wedding period as you receive gifts. A timely thank you is proper etiquette, so the sooner the better; however, it is never too late to be gracious. Remember to personalize the thank you note specific to the gift or include a memory from the big day.

Who should plan the honeymoon?

In the past, the groom was known to plan the honeymoon; however, today it is viewed as a grand vacation and is planned by both the bride and groom. This includes all of the research, making the reservation and arranging all of the details prior to your departure (i.e. children, pets, mail delivery, house sitting arrangements, etc.).

Hiring a Wedding Consultant/Planner?

No more planning the wedding on your own with help from your various cousins and friends. The trend has clearly shifted towards hiring a wedding consultant/planner who takes care of all the details for the wedding and ensures that it is not a mismanaged and haphazard affair! Consultants can help guide you through all of the intricacies of contracting vendors, staging rehearsals, seeing that proper wedding etiquette is followed and basically ensuring that no loose ends are left unattended. A consultant can be used just for the beginning or ending arrangements of your wedding or throughout all of the planning stages.